Rambling thoughts on a summer day

I haven’t written for awhile, maybe because the novelty of this whole journey wore off, in part because the events of the world have been so awful and large and ugly that I have felt too daunted to write, and also because I have started to feel better which has led to a more normal routine, with a bit less time sitting and thinking. That said, here’s an update.

Radiation has begun so I have a daily date with the pictured creature. Each weekday, techs help me get arranged on a table, leave the room, and then to the tune of various buzzes and beeps, guided by laser lights, this machine moves all around me, and Voila, I am radiated. Reverse everything, repeat. Both sides are done. After chemo, this is pretty easy. In other words, no needles and no major side effects so far. In one of the odd little pieces of this whole adventure, I now have tattoos. 🙂 Kids, it’s not what you think, but really, I do. I was given 7 or 8 tiny black dot tattoos around my upper torso. Mini moles. The radiation techs then use these to line me up in exactly the same way for every treatment. Who knew?

2016 continues to teach me to appreciate the little things. From our Family Camp weekend verse (Give thanks in all circumstances, 1 Thessalonians 5:18) to this morning’s message on the Mary and Martha story (for a short story, I sure take away something new from it every year), I am ever so slowly finding myself more thankful. Things that were annoying (shaving my legs) are suddenly good (hair is growing!). As unpleasant as the chemo side effects were, I lost 20 pounds. Not a bad thing. I am married to the most patient man and his endurance through this continues to amaze me. . . and polishes the craggy edges of my own impatience bit by bit. A couple weeks ago, I was able to paddle a bit in the BWCA and Erika and Jon and I hiked up to Devil’s Kettle Falls; I am so thankful to have that much energy again!

It is of course hard, in all circumstances – in these days when we are all surrounded by unimaginable horror, tragic grief, and our own daily challenges. I think of the tremendous amount of mercy I’ve been shown by medical staff, congregation members, friends . . . Mercy seems a word for our time, and is a gift for all time, yet something I haven’t specifically reflected on much. This year, I think of Pope Francis’s book “The Name of God is Mercy” and Bryan Stevenson’s “Just Mercy”, books calling out to me, and I hope, to many of you. In all circumstances, it is something we can share.

He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”